How To Beat Shyness

Anyone can overcome shyness by learning how to talk on a wide range of topics in an interesting way, says an expert.

"Many bashful people feel trapped by their shyness." Declared Dr. Gerald Philips, Professor of speech communications at Pennsylvania State University.

"They are extremely nervous about mingling in new surroundings or with a different group of people."

They are also more sensitive and considerate, less demanding and less assertive, Dr. Philips explained - and this tends to make them hold back when it comes to conversation. They let others do most of the talking.

But they can break "the shyness trap" by following these tips :

1. Don't speak useless you have a good reason - for example, to make somebody smile, to add some information to the topic being discussed or to correct an erroneous statement made by someone else. If there's nothing you can accomplish by speaking, then it is fine to keep quite.

 

2. Realize that other people are just like you in many ways. If something strikes you as funny,     go ahead and say it. "You're likely to get a chuckle in response. If something makes you laugh, it will probably make another person laugh too."

 3. Get your ideas in order before you speak. "You'll make fewer careless mistakes and you'll feel more self assured about speaking." 

4. Ask someone for her/his opinion. S/he'll probably also ask for your opinion, starting the conversation. After s/he is finished stating her/his thought, s/he'll probably say something like "And how do you feel about it?" "Suddenly, you've made a deal with another person." Dr. Philips said "It's OK to talk with each other... you have two people engaged in a conversation."

5. Don't be afraid to speak in cliches. "You don't have to say everything in an original manner to be an effective speaker."

6. Prepare five or six different topics to talk about. Read newspaper, magazine or watch a TV newscast. This will give you many topics to discuss. 

 

7. Talk to people of your own sex until you loosen up. Then you'll find it easier to chat with the opposite sex.

Notes :

Bashful (Adj)     : pemalu

Trapped (Adj)     : terjebak

Mingling (V)      : bergaul

Considerate (Adj) : toleran

Assertive (Adj)   : tegas

Erroneous (Adj)   : keliru

Chuckle (N)       : tawa kecil

Loosen up (V)     : tidak kikuk lagi

Adapted from Hello English magazine